Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

2.18.2009

3 Things to consider in light of He's Just Not That Into You

Sorry to those who haven't seen this movie, but it's been a long time since a movie has made me so disgusted. I must release the bitterness in the form of some contrary insights to this movie that hails itself as sound relationship advice for women the world over.
  1. Did we ever stop to consider whether she was all that into him? Even once? No! In the main relationship between Gigi and Alex, Gigi was quick to make it clear that she in was not into Alex, didn't find him attractive, and obviously saw him in a completely platonic light until, oh my golly!--He's into her! Immediately upon this revelation that a guy is finally into her, she falls madly for him, and still ends up making a fool out of herself until he gets his act together and it dawns on him that he is, in fact into her. Oh wait, I thought that guys always knew what they wanted, 100% of the time. What? Think again if you think this theory is empowering women.
  2. On that point, what we are supposed to take away from this movie is that when a guy is "into you," he will know 100% from the moment he sees you, behave perfectly, fawn over you, and never ever hurt your feelings. Because that's what you deserve gosh darn it! This is the exact "advice" that leads to so much confusion caused by unrealistic and selfish expectations in marriage, if you ask me. First of all ladies, men are not perfect, and neither are we. When we love each other with the love of Christ, and put our expectations on his love and promises rather than on the shoulders of a guy, we will learn to have grace for one another. Thanks be to God in his mercy that we don't get what we actually deserve! I think that we would save ourselves a lot of grief if we didn't go into relationships with a worldly sense of entitlement. (Not that there aren't times when a guy is just being a complete @#$%, a description which would accurately describe pretty much ALL of them men in this movie, on whom you legitimately should not waste your time, emotional energy, or self-worth.)
  3. There are few things in this world that make me more burdened and aware of our depravity than broken marriage and betrayal in marriage. And it makes me literally sick to watch something that even borders on glorifying betrayal and making committed marriage look dull and 2nd rate in comparison.
I know, I know. There are some things in the movie that women "need" to realize. If he's not calling you, he's probably not thinking about you, and if he's not thinking about you, he's definitely not into you. Sound advice. But there are no answers, solutions, formulas, etc. to getting relationships between fallen men and fallen women right. We must look to Christ and His Word, fix our eyes on Him, cleave to the Rock, beg to be filled with His Spirit and His love. Or we will fail. That's it.

2.16.2009

Because I know you're all dying to know . . .

(Image from explodingdog.com. I should blog about that site, it's cool.)

I unfortunately was camera-less this weekend (I was loaning mine to a friend), but I thought I'd do my best to document our first Valentine's Day when Keith and I were a) in love, b) on the same continent, and c) able to celebrate. We, in our first year of marriage tenderness, take the simple route when it comes to holidays. Just for the sake of simplicity, which is dear to our hearts, and it's nice, developing traditions in our time. The ingredients for a sweet and simple valentine's day in the cozy Davis home go like this:

1. Play soccer with your friends for hours in the afternoon so you are good and tired. Good tired, hungry, and looking forward to an evening of coziness.

2. Whip out the mini gas grill your parents gave you for the first time, apply deliciously marinated steak, and let your husband experience the manly thrill of being the master of the grill. (And it's a nice touch if it's the first time you've had steak at home together.)

3. Invite your awesome 7 year old neighbor come up for an impromptu dance party when she hears your wedding-dance mix blasting from your open door and sees the two of you boogying on the stairs.  Proceed to dance through the soundtrack of Mama Mia, which she has brought just for the occasion.

4. Sweetly tell her to go home when dinner's ready :)

5. Gather all of the chunky non-table-intended candles you have from around the house and assemble a candle-lit setting complete with a new (my first) table cloth.

6. Thank God for your sweet and perfect-for-you mate who He has given you to enjoy and to grow you and soften you. Enjoy your tasty dinner which you have made together!

7. Cozy up on your red couch and watch a silly but sweet romantic comedy. (Our pick was Nick and Norah's Never-ending Playlist, which we enjoyed, but I think I'll refrain from recommending it.)

8. Somewhere during the course of the evening succeed in making awesome bread, especially if the first time you tried it, it was just okay, and you learned from your mistakes. This will make you wildly happy and your husband will be wonderfully supportive in celebrating your victory with you. 
. . . 
It was really nice. 

(I'll post about the bread, and some other projects, when I get my camera back!)

6.27.2008

WEDDING PICTURES ARE UP!






Thanks to the lovely and talented Bob Miller. Check them out at http://www.everythingisinbalance.com/keithandelaine! These are a few of my favorites :)

6.10.2008

Things to do with an unexpected day (or two) off.


I arrived at work yesterday morning (after a morning of seriously not wanting to get out of bed and leave Keith behind on his unexpected day off) to see the parking lot completely empty and Ronny, the guy who takes care of everything, holding a sign up to the door saying that the building is closed due to a water main break. So far, it's still not fixed, and i'm still not at work. what a shame. How do I spend an expected day off?
  1. Get my new Social Security card, as Elaine MacCorkle Davis. (This was a hard decision because i love my middle name, Faith. But there is so much history in a last name, especially one like MacCorkle, and i wanted to be sure it lives on.) Keith made friends with a kind old man from New York while he was waiting for me. Last time we went to the social security office, he made friends with a couple african dudes. I have such a friendly husband.
  2. Spend hours in Urban Standard sipping a macchiato that is the closest thing i've found this side of the Atlantic to the cafe con leche i enjoyed so much in Espana.
  3. Then have our friend Pat come meet us for lunch at Urban Standard. Enjoy a delectable standard chicken panino with chicken, smoked guda, caramelized onions, and balsamic glaze.
  4. Go home and nap and sing and play guitar with Keith. Attempt a walk, but give up when it is too hot to breathe.
  5. (day two) Watch the Bachelorette and an episode of House, managing both without having a single channel on our TV.
  6. Work on a secret project for Keith. Shhhh.
  7. Talk to one of your best friends from Spain on Skype for the first time in ages, and find out that he "has decided to follow Jesus." !!!! WHOO!
I dont think I'd make it for long as a stay-at-home wife, although, sometimes I wish I could. But these unexpected days off have not gone by unappreciated. Now I'm off to read a book.

5.16.2008

WELCOME HOME!

I've been wanting to do this for a long time. And i finally have the pictures ready. . . 
This is our HOME! We absolutely love this little place. We've loved making it our own, exploring this wonderful and unique neighborhood, and sharing our place with our friends! Here is the official blog tour. To see more, including our books happily mingled together, and my really happy shower curtain, check out my facebook album.

presenting. . . 2916 10th Avenue South

our bedroom is in desperate need of color, but the bed is SO comfortable and notice our awesome office/nook surrounded by windows, which faces our HUGE walk-in closet.
This is what our home looks like with our dearest friends in it! Nikki and Erin prepare chocolate peanut-butter cheesecake!

Keith is a really great dish washer!
Our friends enjoying chicken chilaquiles. Compliments of the Cooking Light cookbook that Corey gave me.
We love it when we match our dishware!
Life is good.

5.05.2008

Newly Wed Adventures

A lot of our conversations lately have gone a little something like this: How was the wedding? Oh, it was perfect and beautiful. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Portland, Oregon. Oh wow, how was it? Perfect and wonderful. How's your new apartment? We love it! It's perfect!

And it was. But sometimes it’s even more fun to look at the things that went “wrong.” Throughout the whole weekend there were several things that went seriously wrong and could have put a damper on things. But over and over again they worked out, and we were thankful.

Dilemma #1: First, when we got up to Blairsville and people started setting up for the rehearsal dinner it was realized that though I had borrowed a projector and a screen from work, and though keith and I had stayed up for hours the night before working on a slideshow collaboration of all our cutest childhood photo memorabilia, somehow the cord for the projector had been left behind and we would have to bag the slideshow. I was pretty bummed.
Solution #1: Erin Sutton to the rescue! She noticed that the shape of the plug in the projector looked strangely like her laptop plug. Well, lets just try this … and it worked!!

Dilemma #2: We decided to be cool and indie and get our friend and groomsman Ryan Warden to “DJ” the reception for us using our favorite music and my laptop. Keith gathered my laptop together before the wedding and we were ready to go. But when we got there we realized it was my sister’s identical white mac notebook, not mine. No music! This could seriously ruin the party.
Solution #2: Kim, for some strange reason, brought her laptop up to Blairsville as well. Except she actually brought mine. Music recovered. And we danced.

Dilemma #3: After being pelted with flower petals in a dizzying tunnel of laughter and screaming and camera flashes, Keith and I hopped in the car. We proceeded to scream HOLY COW HOLY COW HOLY COW! WE’RE MARRIED! And drive off down the road. However, shortly into Vogel state park, which would swallow the next 30 or so miles of our drive, we realized that the gas light was on. 11:00 p.m., dark mountain roads, wedding attire, and very little gas. It was a precarious situation.
Solution #3: Pray.

We made it, although it would have been one of those things that you laugh about many many years later.

Dilemma #4: We arrived at our gate in the Atlanta airport fairly early, and ended up dozing off a little bit with the broadcast of the Pope at Yankee stadium in the background. After about 30 minutes a crowed gathered at the desk, and people didn’t seem happy. Apparently they decided our plane wasn’t suited for flying (thank you for deciding that while it was still on the ground), so they were sending us to another gate. A04. So we took the train and walked all the way down to the gate, which is all the way at one end of the terminal, only to find another blinking sign that says the flight to Portland has now been moved to gate A36… all the way at the other end of the terminal. It was annoying, but the flight was only delayed about an hour or so. Little did we know what an adventure the slight delay would catalyze. When we landed in Portland we follow the signs to the rental car area, so we could make the 2 hour drive to our reservation on Cannon Beach, and found a sign for EZRental. We were recommended this company because they have the lowest under 25 fees, but we were told they “don’t have the best customer service.” We arrived at the desk only to find a sign that said If no one is here call this number and get on the shuttle for the Holiday Inn. Ok. Called the number, but no one answered. We waited for the Holiday Inn shuttle. When it came we flagged it down and said, “We’re with EZRental.” The driver shrugged and said, “they’re closed. Sorry.”
Solution #4: O wow, now what are we going to do? We decide to go check with the other rental agencies, even though we know they are going to be outrageously more expensive. First we go to Budget…because the name is encouraging. But their rates do not exactly fit their name. The lady helping us seems laid back enough, so I sheepishly ask her if there are any other agencies with better rates. She surprisingly eagerly tells us that Dollar employees work on commission and match rates. This is when we meet Courtney at Dollar rental cars. This delightful girl indeed matched our rates, plus lowered it by two dollars, plus gave us an upgrade to an all wheel drive vehicle because there was some snow in the mountains and cheerfully drew us a map. She was our first shiny example of the kindness of Oregonians, and we weren’t disappointed the whole trip.

Dilemma #5: We finally got out of the airport around 9:30 or so which, after miles of mountain road with ELK and TRUCK crossing signs, put us in Cannon Beach at about 11:30. Unfortunately at about 11:20 I read a message in our confirmation email print out that said The office closes at 10:00 p.m. if you will be arriving late please call ahead. Crap. Well, maybe we could try to call anyway. Both cell phones dead. Crap. We get to the Inn and it is locked and dark. Get to the office and it is locked and dark with a sign that says in case of emergency call… There is a pay phone across the street. Do we have change? Sure. Well…40 cents, is that enough? Keith runs in the rain to find out…no. its 50. Ok, this one looks like its going to top it all and end our lucky streak.
Solution #5 We drive down the road to find a gas station or somewhere where we could either use a phone or plug ours in. As we drive, we pass a parked cop car. Keith decided this might be our best bet, as awkward as it is. So we explain our dilemma to the officer. He escorts us to the police station and lets us use the phone. And was for sure the kindest police officer I’ve ever encountered. Our key was waiting for us under a flower pot.

Dilemma #6: Didn’t happen on the honeymoon, but it was funny. The other night I cooked a delicious meal of chicken fried rice and yellow squash, and we went out on our back porch to enjoy the warm spring night. When we were done eating we went to go inside to tackle the last night of unpacking only to discover that the door was locked behind us. We were without shoes, keys, wallets, or cell phones.
Solution #6: We met 2 of our neighbors and spent the evening relaxing and talking on the roof for 3 hours while we waited for our landlord (who was at a party and told us to go get a 6 pack and enjoy ourselves) to come let us in. It ended up being a pretty relaxing evening, and we’re especially thankful to have met some more of our neighbors.

I think its almost even more remarkable that God meets our needs in little funny situations like these than that he does it in big ones. Almost like if we were somehow under the illusion that we deserve the big stuff, we can’t kid ourselves into thinking that we deserve kindness from strangers, slack for our mistakes, and helpful coincidences. Those things the Father lavishes on us anyway, and it’s sweet and humbling.

5.01.2008

sweet last update


Pictures are great updates I think. The wedding was perfect. As good as a dream, but better, because we were given the grace to feel the weight and reality of it too. I remember a lot of the beautiful things Grandaddy said, which I hear doesn’t happen sometimes. And I distinctly remember several of the looks on Keith’s face during the ceremony. Treasures of connecting glances. And our friends really had fun. Another treasure.

Communion was really amazing. Before the ceremony we wanted to share communion with out guests as a symbol of our desperate need and great privilege to come and receive Christ’s redeeming body and cleansing blood, and that we believe that so much of sanctification and redemption happens in the context of a body of believers, celebrating with and supporting one another. This experience penetrated so much deeper than I could have imagined as we watched our deeply beloved friends and family come up and take part in Jesus with us. It was a beautifully slowed down moment, and I can still see the faces of so many people who mean the world to us joining us in our wedding ceremony. It was an answer to our hearts desire.

Oregon was just the right place for us for a week of peace, contentment, exploration, discovery, conversation, and beauty.

We unpacked our books last night. Now they’re all delightfully mixed up together on the bookshelf. Every moment it feels more like home, and our hearts feel more deeply at home with one another. God’s faithfulness to his promise of both sustenance and growth is overwhelming.
so after that update, which was a really great one to write about, I move on to thinking about the identity of my blog. It’s hard for me to decide what I want this blog to be. I know for sure that I compare myself too much to other people, try to please and impress, and it makes my identity a little confused sometimes. That applies to more than just this blog to be certain.

I know I want to write, to write regularly, without the pressure of “updating.” Which, somehow, is the pressure that keeps me from writing more regularly. So today, I will set the updating aside, and begin to write about what I feel like on any particular day. What’s going on inside my thoughts and senses. I'm still definitely in new places, just not necessarily ones that need to be expressed in update format.

peace,