part of that story is the continual veil of uncertainty that following Christ seems to take on. we are learning to rejoice and rest in what it feels like to not know the next step. to not make out own plans and strive for our own security. but it is a struggle. we become anxious. we become impatient. we slip into planning mode. but we are held and drawn into trusting. and it is an exciting place to be. and we are learning to pray.
some days i miss europe. some days i want to go to asia. some days i long for guatemala. some days i long for dirt and humidity. some days i want to decorate our apartment like a page out of IKEA. some days i want to speak spanish all day long. some days i want to be a teacher. some days i want to make art. some days i want to go. and some days i want to stay here.
I want a holy ambition.