I found this old picture of keith and i from the night before i left for college. A few weeks ago, during a long, late drive home, we read from my journal from senior year. for those of you that dont know, i was pretty in love with keith back then too. it was so nice to read that journal--to laugh at the high-school-ridiculous of it, and our sweet awkwardness. but also, to see that the place that we are really has been planted in out hearts for so long. that our Father knows us and our hearts and desires because he made them and created them for himself. to know that david keith and i were really made, knit together, to be joined to one another. and that our soon approaching marriage is just part of the story of faithfulness, love, adventure, sanctification, and purpose that God is weaving from out lives. 

part of that story is the continual veil of uncertainty that following Christ seems to take on. we are learning to rejoice and rest in what it feels like to not know the next step. to not make out own plans and strive for our own security. but it is a struggle. we become anxious. we become impatient. we slip into planning mode. but we are held and drawn into trusting. and it is an exciting place to be. and we are learning to pray. 

some days i miss europe. some days i want to go to asia. some days i long for guatemala. some days i long for dirt and humidity. some days i want to decorate our apartment like a page out of IKEA. some days i want to speak spanish all day long. some days i want to be a teacher. some days i want to make art. some days i want to go. and some days i want to stay here. 

I want a holy ambition

1 comment:

Kimberly Joy said...

Elaine I still remember taking that picture. I was actually thinking about it a couple of weeks ago