2.18.2009

3 Things to consider in light of He's Just Not That Into You

Sorry to those who haven't seen this movie, but it's been a long time since a movie has made me so disgusted. I must release the bitterness in the form of some contrary insights to this movie that hails itself as sound relationship advice for women the world over.
  1. Did we ever stop to consider whether she was all that into him? Even once? No! In the main relationship between Gigi and Alex, Gigi was quick to make it clear that she in was not into Alex, didn't find him attractive, and obviously saw him in a completely platonic light until, oh my golly!--He's into her! Immediately upon this revelation that a guy is finally into her, she falls madly for him, and still ends up making a fool out of herself until he gets his act together and it dawns on him that he is, in fact into her. Oh wait, I thought that guys always knew what they wanted, 100% of the time. What? Think again if you think this theory is empowering women.
  2. On that point, what we are supposed to take away from this movie is that when a guy is "into you," he will know 100% from the moment he sees you, behave perfectly, fawn over you, and never ever hurt your feelings. Because that's what you deserve gosh darn it! This is the exact "advice" that leads to so much confusion caused by unrealistic and selfish expectations in marriage, if you ask me. First of all ladies, men are not perfect, and neither are we. When we love each other with the love of Christ, and put our expectations on his love and promises rather than on the shoulders of a guy, we will learn to have grace for one another. Thanks be to God in his mercy that we don't get what we actually deserve! I think that we would save ourselves a lot of grief if we didn't go into relationships with a worldly sense of entitlement. (Not that there aren't times when a guy is just being a complete @#$%, a description which would accurately describe pretty much ALL of them men in this movie, on whom you legitimately should not waste your time, emotional energy, or self-worth.)
  3. There are few things in this world that make me more burdened and aware of our depravity than broken marriage and betrayal in marriage. And it makes me literally sick to watch something that even borders on glorifying betrayal and making committed marriage look dull and 2nd rate in comparison.
I know, I know. There are some things in the movie that women "need" to realize. If he's not calling you, he's probably not thinking about you, and if he's not thinking about you, he's definitely not into you. Sound advice. But there are no answers, solutions, formulas, etc. to getting relationships between fallen men and fallen women right. We must look to Christ and His Word, fix our eyes on Him, cleave to the Rock, beg to be filled with His Spirit and His love. Or we will fail. That's it.

4 comments:

Annie said...

Okay, I’m coming out of the woodwork for an extra-long comment! :) I’m a friend of Cory’s and have been reading your blog for a while now. I just had to comment because I couldn’t agree with you more. I have yet to see the movie, but lately it seems as if the world wants to make committed marriage look less interesting and more mundane than the “single life” (or than uncommitted marriage). Did I have to give up some parts of my “single life” to marry my husband? Yes, of course I did! But my life has become more filled with adventure, and I now have someone to share my joys and struggles with.

Marriage may be tough some days, but it is never dull. I hate that the world has made happy, adventure-filled marriages look impossible. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

erin said...

i agree completely, elaine.

The Rigoloso's said...

Hey Elaine...Keith's cousin Molly, here! Just wanted to say hi...i have been reading your blog for a couple days and wanted to come out of hiding! I love your posts! Justin and I have a fledgling blog right now...drop by and say hi when you get a chance. We'd love to get together with yall for dinner whenever you have some time. Happy Wednesday! Molly
http://therigolosos.blogspot.com/

Claus said...

Every point valid EXCEPT "If he's not calling you, he's probably not thinking about you, and if he's not thinking about you, he's definitely not into you."